Are you one of those people who just CANNOT take a compliment!? You people drive me crazy! I mean that in a loving way, of course. But really – all kidding aside – you need to learn how to take a compliment otherwise people will stop complimenting you!
When someone compliments you, they have taken the time to convey a sincere thought to honor something you have done, a choice you have made; it’s something that has made them stop, take notice and commend you for something awesome you have done.
But how do I know someone isn’t just “saying that”?
Good question. You don’t. But, in today’s world, people seem to think it’s okay to ignore everyone else who walks among them so when someone actually looks at you, then notices something about you that they admire or appreciate, as unexpected as it might be, the most appropriate response is always, “Thank you.”
You don’t need a clever retort, a witty way to avoid receiving the compliment – just take it.
Repeat after me: “Thank you.”
Here are some examples you can practice:
You look wonderful! Have you lost weight? The answer here is “Thank you!” Now smile and be quiet. If you feel the need to say more, as if “thank you” isn’t enough, you can add, “You noticed!” Whether you’ve actually lost weight or you’re the heaviest you’ve ever been, keep all of that subtext to yourself. The compliment is not given with a backstory or a catch – it’s just a statement designed to brighten your day and your life.
Is that a new blouse? The answer here is always, “Yes, it is.” Now smile and be quiet. No one wants you to divulge the secret that you always wear that blouse or that you just dug it out of your closet because you forgot to do laundry and had nothing else to wear. If they proceed to ask you questions about it, tell them what you want them to know (it doesn’t have to be the biggest display of truth, either.)
Don’t EVER discredit or deny their compliment. Stop saying, “Oh, this old thing?” Why would you wear old clothes? You have money and I know for a fact you shop and I SURE AS HECK know that it is NOT old; so just cut the baloney and answer their questions with NEW responses.
Did you change your hair? It looks nice. The answer here is always, “Thank you, I think so too!” Now smile and be quiet. Wait for them to say something else and if they don’t, you’re in the clear and there will not be any negating compliments for you today!
You want to ensure that you also do not misconstrue a compliment as a hidden insult. If someone is going to insult you, they will and you’ll know it. So, give people the benefit of the doubt and even if it’s worded like a backhanded compliment, take it as just a compliment and move on. Also, don’t turn a compliment into an argument or a situation that will make the giver of said compliment not want to ever pay you a compliment again.
You’ve lost weight, haven’t you? What are you saying? That I was fat or something? Am I still fat? Should I lose more weight? Whoa! What they were really saying was that you look noticeably thinner than the last time they really looked at you. Even if you haven’t lost weight, who wouldn’t love to appear a little thinner?
The implementation of active listening will also help you avoid awkward situations where you may taste your own foot in your mouth.
Someone gives you a compliment. You say, “Thank you.” You be quiet. Feel free to return a compliment but know that you are not required to give them a compliment just because they gave you one. If someone gives you a compliment because they are looking for one in return, then they truly don’t know how to give a compliment and will eventually learn to stop expecting one in return based in quid pro quo reasoning. They definitely should expect to receive compliments, as we all should, unconditionally.
Get out there and get ready to take some compliments! If you really want to master the art of graciously taking compliments, ask your bestie or a trusted friend to role play with you so you can try out your new complimentary training!
Tomorrow is Wednesday which means it’s time for this week’s Wednesday Weight Manager! Trust me – this one is a doozy. I can hardly “weight” to publish it!
“Hold yourself responsible for a higher standard than anyone else expects of you. Never excuse yourself. Never pity yourself. Be a hard master to yourself and be lenient to everyone else. – Henry Ward Beecher
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Johnny Bergstrom, M.Msc is a Master of Metaphysical Science and an accomplished Metaphysician, Speaker, Author, Law of Attraction Expert and Health & Wellness Coach. He has the “gift of ignition” – an innate ability to spark the internal fires and personal passions in just about every person he works with. Whether it is through a motivational speech, corporate pep talk, or the keynote at your next corporate function – Johnny Bergstrom is just the spark you need to ignite a raging fire throughout your organization! TeamJohnny, Inc. is based in North Palm Beach, Florida. He can be reached by emailing Johnny@goteamjohnny.com, or through his website, www.goteamjohnny.com
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