Does your happiness depend on the happiness of others?
Does the happiness of others depend on your actions?
Do you find that you are constantly struggling to make yourself happy while at the same time trying to make everyone else happy?
If you answered ‘yes” to any of those questions, you will never be happy. Now, really take a second and allow that to set in. YOU WILL NEVER BE HAPPY IF YOU DO NOT SAY, “ME FIRST.”
Cast aside everything you were taught throughout your life about putting others before yourself. Yes, I know, we have to “put others before ourselves so that we are unselfish and giving.” Does that sound familiar? Guess what. By putting the needs of everyone else ahead of your own before mastering “me first”, the needs of others will never be fully quelled and your needs – hah! Your needs will not even be under consideration, all because you were the one responsible for making it that way.
When you say things like, “Oh, I don’t need anything, I’m okay, what can I do for you?” – you are sentencing yourself to going without. Most people are quietly hoping that someone will hear them say that and then insist that they do need something and will become focused on doing for them instead of receiving assistance. If you live your life this way, you are always going to be standing at the bus stop, waiting for the bus that isn’t coming.
By having a “me first” mentality, YOU are responsible for YOU and YOUR needs. I am not responsible for you, or your needs, or your desires. The consistent word there is “your” which starts with “you”. YOU are YOUR responsibility and YOUR needs and YOUR happiness and YOUR everything is reliant upon YOU. I have to be a complete person, first. I have to be responsible for me, first. I have to consider my needs and my desires, first.
If I don’t, then I am going to feel irresponsible, needy, I’ll stop desiring things because I will develop a belief that I will never get what I desire because what I want never comes to me, etc. What you give out, you receive back. If you GIVE time, care, attention, love, admiration, joy, happiness and everything else you want in your life TO YOURSELF, then you will receive back circumstances in your life that cause you to feel empowered enough to feel that you are cared for, loved, admired, happy and you will then be able to administer those feelings toward others who need to feel that way. Once you take care of “me first”, you will then receive everything you need in order to continue the process and GIVE to others what they need in order to better their lives. Because you give to others, you will continue to receive all of the feelings you desire, like feeling cared for, loved, admired, appreciated, happy, etc.
Life is definitely conditional. The betterment of your life is conditional – however, it is not conditional upon the actions of others; it is conditional upon the actions of YOU. What you give out, you get back. If you give out feelings of hopelessness, worthlessness, sadness, anxiety, depression, pity and every other negative feeling, you are asking for a life that is filled with those feelings!
Start feeling AMAZING! Start feeling LOVE! Start feeling EXCITED because you have just been handed the golden ticket that will grant you admission to the most fabulous life you will have ever envisioned for yourself. What we think about we bring about, and I promise you – once you start controlling how you think, your life will take shape around how you feel.
Stop worrying about the bills you have to pay, the way your adult children live their lives, the joy of your spouse or partner, your family drama – stop stop stop – and START START START focusing on what you want to FEEL – I want to FEEL free, limitless, bountiful, effervescent, infused with oxygen to breathe without the chest pain of anxiety, etc. When you start feeling good, keep an eye peeled for the improvement of the lives of those around you and watch in amazement at how much better their lives get too. It is all WITHIN YOU, which means that it always has to start with “ME.”
Johnny Potrekus, Msc.M
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