With my 30th birthday ONE WEEK AWAY – I spent some time today reflecting, as I have done as an exercise for the past 23 days (“30 days ‘til 30”).
Today’s thoughts were focused around “general joy.” Beginning yesterday afternoon and throughout today, I have really noticed people being unusually kind to me. For starters, the cashier at the market last night carded me for the wine I was buying; that made my day. I still appear to be questionably under 30!
While at dinner last night in an Irish pub, the servers were united as a team to ensure that every need that arose was covered. I glanced around the pub to look at the décor and within ten seconds a server came by asking if I needed something, since he saw me looking around, assuming I was looking for someone to get me something. I just told him I was scoping the place out and all was well. It was quite a change to have a need anticipated by servers, since so many barely look at you anymore, let alone anticipate a need. I received better service in an Irish pub than I have at some of the best restaurants.
This morning at Starbucks, every single employee who made eye contact with me didn’t just nod or say “hi,” they actually locked eyes with me, smiled, said, “good morning” and were as friendly as could be. Where the heck am I? This is so different!
I had to grab lunch out today and the same thing – smiles, eye contact, anticipation of needs, etc.
What is it about them that is so different from everyone else I have been encountering lately?
I believe they must all possess what I call, “genuine joy.” Their joy comes from within them, not without. They do not require that exterior sources be responsible for making them happy. They do not require their partners, their jobs, their bank accounts, their exterior life – any of it – to control their happiness. They choose to be genuinely joyful JUST BECAUSE IT FEELS AMAZING.
We have all met those people, and maybe you’re that person, who says, “I’ll be happy when I have a better job. I’ll be happy when we have the money we need to take vacations every year. I’ll be happy when I can retire. I’ll be happy when I’m divorced. I’ll be happy when I lose weight. I’ll be happy when I get a new car. I’ll be happy when…” – how about making the choice to be happy now?
I am happy because I have my own vehicle and can come and go as I please.
I am happy because I have a job.
I am happy because I am retiring.
I am happy because I am divorced.
I am happy because I am losing weight.
I am happy, BECAUSE.
So are you genuinely joyful or are you one miserable son of a gun? Don’t be miserable. Stop waiting for something outside of you to make you happy. You are the only one who can make you happy and YOUR happiness comes from WITHIN – not from anything on the OUTSIDE.
You could get a divorce, drive a hot new car, have cash in the bank, be retired, and then realize that BECAUSE you were a miserable person, that you no longer have friends, you do not have love in your life and while you have all these fabulous things to enJOY, your JOY is absent because you still didn’t get it factory-direct; FROM YOU!
It’s no coincidence that everyone has been genuinely joyful to me lately – I’ve been genuinely joyful in my own existence. That must mean that I have been producing joy and distributing it to everyone I encounter.
It took me nearly 30 years to realize that it’s essential to give of yourself so that others can live a better life. Just remember – you’re not giving them everything of you so that you’re left crippled and with nothing. You always have plenty and you will always have more than you started with. Because you continue to give everything you have, everything you had will be replaced with more and more, allowing you to continue to give it all away! If you never give and expect more to be given to you, you are a fool and will always feel like you are incomplete and going without.
JOYn (haha) (join, get it?) me in producing 100% GENUINE JOY. Your joy makes others happy and when you make others happy, that big circle of life we are all living in, will eventually make its way back around to give it to you!