Did you wake up this morning feeling like a failure?
Do you have a ton of things to do around the house before your holiday company arrives?
Do you blurt out more negativity than positivity when you speak to others, and especially, to yourself?
“My best is enough.”
How do you gauge your personal success?
Do you compare yourself to others?
Do you look at others and wish for what they have?
Do you ever look at yourself and look at what YOU have?
We have to stop this nonsense of gauging our personal success by the lives of others. It’s so unhealthy.
Do you look at Facebook to see what your friends are up to, only to then remark to yourself while you’re looking at it that your life is so crappy?
Do you follow people on Twitter and receive notifications that people you will probably never meet or interact with just tweeted that they sneezed or got a manicure?
Do you find that you’re constantly absorbed in gossip or other negative talk involving other people?
None of these behaviors is going to help you grow in your own life if you continue to pay more attention to others than to yourself. I’m on Facebook and Twitter – but rather soon after I joined both sites I disabled the news feed subscriptions and push notifications. We’ve become a world of casual press releases, when you think about it.
How lovely, your child was a flower in their school play and your dog had a great check-up at the vet. While that’s nice for you, it has absolutely nothing to do with me. I love when my friends or family members ask me, “Did you see what she put on Facebook!?” to which I always reply, “Nope!” I post to Facebook and I tweet as things pertain to me, which is what everyone does.
The difference is that I don’t submerse myself in the lives of others.
If I want to know what’s up with you, I’ll go directly to your timeline and see for myself – I don’t need alerts. I’m busy focusing on me and bettering myself based upon my life, my actions, my behaviors and constantly checking in with myself. You should do the same.
If you don’t like where you are right now in your life and you want a change, looking at the lives of others isn’t going to get you there. If you want to change your life, you first need to look within yourself to see what you like about yourself and what you want to improve.
Get rid of the dislikes. Stop hating your nose. Stop wishing for longer eyelashes. Stop hating your lack of a strong chin. Stop asking everyone if what you’re wearing makes you look fat. If you put clothes on and YOU question whether or not you should wear it – the minute you’re in doubt, go without. Wear what feels good and flatters your shape.
While you’re getting rid of the dislikes, start highlighting the likes. This goes back to “my best is good enough.”
You might not be at your goal weight, but thank goodness you’re not where you used to be.
You may have had every intention of managing your weight through the holidays and if you haven’t lost weight per se, have you at least stayed the same? Are you maintaining your current weight through the season rather than gaining new weight?
Are you focused on your goals and making avid attempts to achieve them? If you are, celebrate that.
If you’re being ho-hum and throwing yourself a pity party and how you wish things would be different – SHUT UP AND GET CRACKING! Start with something small that you can change right now and start liking the fact that you grew courageous and did it.
Continue to focus on your “self”. On your wants, needs, desires, etc. Get in front of a mirror and ask yourself the hard questions. Don’t look away either – get right in your own face and don’t you dare move until you and that person looking back at you have had a heart to heart.
Don’t be afraid to want what you want. You can’t get what you want in your life if you don’t know what it is that you truly want. An easy way to start on the path of figuring out what you want is to start listing what you don’t want. Whatever you don’t want most likely has an opposite – which would be what you want.
I don’t want to be late = I want to be on time.
I don’t want to gain weight = I want to maintain or lose weight.
I don’t want to go to work = I want to retire with full benefits and a ton of money.
I don’t want to live here forever = I want to move into my dream home immediately.
I don’t want people to argue with me = I want everyone to speak to me politely and with an open mind.
I don’t want family tension at our holiday gatherings = I want everyone to be peaceful, positive and joyful.
I don’t want to feel badly about myself = I want to feel great about myself
I don’t want to feel so meaningless = I want to feel meaningful and I want to find what makes me feel special.
Get it? Once you can see what you want, start your lists with what you want and stop giving any thought to what you don’t want. Start listening to yourself and others when speaking and you’ll be surprised at just how much negativity is spewed all over the place. Negativity spreads like wildfire – so does positivity. NOTHING GOOD COMES FROM NEGATIVITY. “Two negatives equal a positive” does not apply here!
Do your best. Embrace your best. Be happy that your best is so great. The only person who can rate your success and your level of “best” is you. So get out that blue ribbon and wear it proudly. Every minute of every day, you earn it!
©TeamJohnny, Inc. 2013 All Rights Reserved.
Johnny Potrekus is a Personal Confidence Coach based in North Palm Beach, Florida. For more information about his coaching services, please explore this website or contact him directly.